Minions: The Rise Of Gru (2022)

By: Mike Ward on Thursday, July 07

PG Running Time: 87 mins

SHOULD I SEE IT?

YES

  • Clearly, there are a lot of Minions fans and as long as they run around, act obnoxious, and be silly - people will pay whatever is necessary to see them in a movie.

  • There are some funny moments and adults may appreciate all the extra villains, and the punchline names and cast choices that come with them, as they sit through this with the youngest among us.

  • This is for kids and kids will devour this.

NO

  • This isn’t good or bad. It’s a movie that trots out basically the same exact thing we have seen four previous times and banks on the fact that you’ll cave to your kids’ wants and buy them Minions merchandise and popcorn/soda combo meals at the theater.

  • Someone explain to me why they truly like Minions? No one has ever really given me an explanation and I’m out of guesses.

  • Moves at breakneck speed and just keeps throwing joke after joke and sight-gags and puns at the viewer until we are simply all exhausted. Maybe that’s the trick - Minions beat you down into exhaustion and you just give up?


OUR REVIEW

In 2015’s animated comedy Minions, the lovable, wacky, yellow goofballs killed hundreds of thousands of people during their animated film. And no one cared. Like seriously. If you have the chance to do so, skim through it. 

Hundreds of thousands dead. 

‘It’s just a cartoon,’ people said. They speak cute gibberish, they said. Kids love the fart jokes. They’re just so adorable! Plus, they are perfect for stuffed animals that also work as cute pillows and snugglies. 

Are there Minions Squishmallows? If not, there probably should be.

Clearly I have not fully recovered from that previous film. They killed so many innocent people. And so, in 2022, I don’t quite understand why Minions have such appeal with the masses. Nonetheless, Minions: The Rise of Gru, is the fifth film to feature the yellow blobs of fun. Following three Despicable Me films and the aforementioned 2015 film, we have the rare second prequel here, detailing how future supervillain with a heart of gold, Gru (Steve Carell), emerges from awkward pre-teen in the mid-1970s to be the leader of the Minions and becomes momentarily obsessed with ruling the world. 

While I did not partake in the wacky, and admittedly kind of awesome viral meme that coincided with the opening of the film - the one where young people wore suits and fancy clothes to the weekend premiere screenings - I did try and keep an open mind with The Rise of Gru. 

Also, I hate wearing suits.

Truth be told, Minions: The Rise of Gru is not a bad movie. It’s not a good movie. It’s just there. It bounces around. Makes a lot of noise. Honestly, it just is. That’s about the best I can say about it. Quite rare is it to feel nothing when watching a movie. However, these Minions didn’t grate on my nerves, nor did they generate much laughter. They just do what they are drawn to do. They speak cute gibberish. Make fart jokes. And create a lot of wacky hijinks.

In terms of plot, we open in 1976 California. Gru, around age 11, is an avid fan of the Vicious 6, a faction of villains attempting to take possession of the Zodiac Stone. Said Stone would allow the Vicious 6 to take over the world and naturally turn people into animals common with the Chinese New Year. 

When Gru gets an interview, the rising leader of the group, Belle Bottom (Taraji P. Henson), dismisses him because he is a child. Unable to align with villains like Jean-Clawed (Jean-Claude Van Damme), Stronghold (Danny Trejo), Nun-Chuck (Lucy Lawless), Svengeance (Dolph Lundgren), and Gru’s favorite - group leader and founder Wild Knuckles (Alan Arkin), Gru throws a monkey wrench into the Vicious 6’s plans when he nabs the coveted Zodiac Stone away from the greatest villains in the world. 

To be fair, everyone seems to be having a blast with this, including Pierre Coffin, who voices all the Minions; specifically, the main trio of Kevin, Stuart, and Bob. For this film, a portly Minion named Otto adds a new level of Minion madness to the proceedings, especially when he takes the Zodiac Stone and trades it for a Pet Rock.

Ultimately, it is the Minions who force their way into Gru’s life. As the Vicious 6 (or mild spoiler alert - the eventual Vicious 5) come after Gru and the Minions, a nice addition to the film arrives in Michelle Yeoh, voicing Master Chow, a martial arts expert who also dabbles in acupuncture on the side.

Directed by Kyle Balda, who commandeered both Minions and Despicable Me 3, the film suffers from the lazy storyboarding style that dooms a lot of modern-age animation. Illumination Entertainment has never pretended to be Disney or Pixar and that is more than fine. However, at this point, the Despicable Me/Minions films all look the same and rush around at whiplash speed, desperate to land the next joke, one-liner, sight gag, or action sequence. 

Awhile back, friends of mine told me about their daughter’s college research project analyzing animated films. Minions: The Rise of Gru is precisely the kind of movie that gave her the idea for her study.  

Here’s the test: Spend a good 5-10 minutes of time watching this. Only watch the center of the screen. Everything you need to know will either move into, or take place in the middle of the shot. Nothing of consequence happens on the periphery. Viewers can literally look at one place on the screen and see everything. 

There are not enough words in this review to go into the psychology of all of that, and, after all, we are talking about a fifth movie featuring Minions. Yet it does speak to an overall laziness within the film. No one involved feels the need to add any new flavors or try something different. Sure, we might have the addition of new characters with the Vicious 6, but the character development comes with basic punchline humor, goofy names and personas.

Other than that, the yellow orbs zip around, cause mayhem, and make kids howl. Carell is on cruise control. And Minions: The Rise Of Gru just barrels forward - mindless, empty, and completely obnoxious. 

Despicable Me 4 arrives in theaters in 2024. Plan accordingly.

CAST & CREW

Starring: Steve Carell, Pierre Coffin, Alan Arkin, Taraji P. Henson, Michelle Yeoh, Julie Andrews, Russell Brand, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo, Lucy Lawless, Jimmy O. Yang, Kevin Michael Richardson, John DiMaggio, RZA, Will Arnett, Steve Coogan

Director: Kyle Balda
Co-Directors: Brad Abelson, Jonathan de Val
Written by: Matthew Fogel (screenplay); Brian Lynch, Matthew Fogel (story)
Release Date: July 1, 2022
Universal Pictures